Crypto Rally Stubs Toe, Face Plants, And Waits To Get Up 🤕

When crypto pulls back, it does it hard

Author

Jonathan Morgan
July 23, 2025

OVERVIEW

Crypto Rally Stubs Toe, Face Plants, And Waits To Get Up 🤕

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

Source: Santiment

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

Source: TradingView

NEWS
BNY & Goldman Turn Money‑Market Cash Into Blockchain Chow 🏦

BNY & Goldman are tokenizing old‑school money‑market funds and calling it progress. 😎

  • BNY’s LiquidityDirect pipes now talk to Goldman’s GS DAP, so fund subscriptions and redemptions settle on‑chain instead of wheezing through overnight batch files.

  • Mirror tokens track every share you hold, letting desks shove MMF stakes around as instant collateral rather than waiting for dusty DTCC receipts.

  • BlackRock, Dreyfus, Federated Hermes, Fidelity, and Goldman’s own asset arm are first through the door. If that lineup doesn’t scream “TradFi FOMO,” nothing will.

Nice Things Come In Pairs 🤔 

  • Liquidity management: Tokenized MMF shares can hop wallets 24/7, slashing margin calls from hours to seconds. That’s not sexy, but freed‑up cash sure is.

  • Compliance brownie points: The tokens mirror, not replace, BNY’s official ledger, so auditors keep their spreadsheets and everyone stays friends with the SEC.

If wall‑street grandpas feel safe wrapping trillions in blockchain bubble wrap, every other asset class is next: bonds, repos, baseball cards, who knows. 👋 

NEWS
Solana RICO‑Slapped: Yakovenko, Jito Crew Dragged Into Pump.fun Circus 🎪 

Lawyers just tossed half of Solana’s C‑suite into a racketeering blender and hit purée. 😱 

  • Burwick Law and Wolf Popper tacked Solana Foundation, Solana Labs, Jito Labs, plus execs Anatoly Yakovenko, Raj Gokal, Dan Albert, Lily Liu, Austin Federa, Lucas Bruder, and Brian Smith onto their Pump.fun lawsuit.

  • Fresh filing lobs RICO counts built on illegal gambling, wire fraud, IP theft, securities fraud, and unlicensed money‑transmitting.

  • Plaintiffs say Pump ignored AML rules so completely that North Korea’s Lazarus Group strolled in, launched “QinShihuang,” and washed Bybit‑hack loot through Solana like a free hotel laundry.

  • Suit pegs Pump’s “digital casino” haul at $722.85M, accusing Jito of auctioning off “winning spins” to the highest briber while validators whistled.

We’ll keep you updated as this story develops. 📰 

NEWS
MARA Slings $850M Zero‑Coupon Moon Ticket

MARA’s pitching a no‑interest convertible so it can stack more sats and roll old debt. 🗞️ 

  • $850M in 0.00% convertible notes due 2032, Rule 144A only to the big‑kid money.

  • Bankers get a $150M greenshoe if demand goes full degen.

  • Cash/stock conversion switch hits, plus a holder put on Jan 4, 2030 and company call after Jan 15, 2030.

  • Up to $50M of proceeds will yank a slice of MARA’s 1% 2026 converts, the rest funds capped calls, fresh Bitcoin, and “general corporate” - translation: more miners, more hash.

  • Shares sagged 4.5% on the news, proving markets hate zero coupons unless they’re called T‑bills.

Ouch? 🤕 

  • Dilution dampener: Capped calls mean fewer new shares if the convert rips in‑the‑money.

  • Balance‑sheet yoga: Swapping 2026 paper for 2032 paper plus BTC leaves creditors chasing an 8‑year treadmill.

  • Signal check: Zero coupon says MARA thinks its stock runs hotter than any interest rate the Fed can imagine.

Borrowing free money to buy volatile money is peak 2025 energy. If Bitcoin moons, MARA looks like a genius. If it face‑plants, bondholders own an ASIC farm and a couple of Florida billboards. 🖼️ 

NEWS
Sonic’s $190M Token Blast Leaves Only 12k Wallets Cheering 😥 

Sonic Labs carved Season 1 into two reward buckets - Points and Gems - and swore it would be “fair.” Reality says otherwise. 😠 

The numbers:

  • Tokens on the table: 80.8M $S (49M already siphoned through Points, another 30M dangling as Gems)

  • Claim mechanics: 25% liquid on the spot, 75% locked for 270 days inside tradable NFTs

  • Progress so far: 26.9M $S claimed across 5,534 wallets; single best haul hit 742,675 $S

Points farming rolls on: vault loops on Aave or Pendle grind up to 8x multipliers and 30% APY, while creator programs drip more $S back to loud supporters. Sonic Labs even torched 1.87M $S from its own stash to prove “merit‑based” love. Nice gesture, though it barely dented the salt.

Price Dumps, Rage Tweets 😡 

Backlash? Loud. Long‑time degens with four‑digit transaction counts got zilch because their balances fell under the “dust” line.

One top‑heavy wallet yanked 750k $S, market‑dumped on Binance, and fled.

Price slumped, TVL bled from ecosystem dApps, and more traders bragged about shorting $S than farming it.

No official word yet about what’s going on, but we’ll keep you updated if that changes. 👍️ 

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️

🤖 Sensay Plugs Into ASI Alliance So Its Chatbots Can Finally Pass the Eye-Roll Test

Great,now your sales funnel can judge you smarter than your manager and still invoice on-chain. Integrating ASI:One models hands Sensay bots more autonomy for lead-qualifying and support gigs. The tie-up links Sensay with Fetch.ai, SingularityNET, Ocean, and CUDOS, paving paths to AgentVerse workflows and DAO agents. Artificial Superintelligence Alliance.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️

🏆 Axie Merges Its Bounty Boards Because Two Battlepasses Were One Too Many

Phase 1 shifts loot toward the premium board, scraps Captchas, and rewires twenty quests to kill duplicates. The endgame is a unified Battlepass-style system that scales progression and AXS payouts with player loyalty. Translation: mercenaries get crumbs while devoted Lunacians grind harder for digital pet rent. Axie Infinity.

🧌 Gala Swaps Your Retired VEXI Trolls for Shiny New Toys and Calls It Progress

Nothing says evolution like yanking NFTs from gameplay and mailing you consolation loot you didn’t ask for. Holders will auto-receive a rarity-matched VEXI character plus a themed building, with extra perks for ultra-rare trolls. The originals stay frozen on-chain for nostalgia and speculative trading. Gala Games.

🕹️ Decentraland Has More Than Dance Floors – Try Not to Get Lost

MANA’s latest guide highlights ten off-event activities, from wearable-grinding mini-games to rolling your own world in Creator Hub. Adventurers who think Decentraland sleeps after a headline concert will discover 90,000 parcels ready to roast that idea. Daily quests, parkour rooftops, chess boards, and Art-filter hunts mean you’ll stumble from neon storefront to hidden temple faster than the map can load. Decentraland.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending Protocol News 🏦

⚙️ Core’s Satoshi Plus Lets You Stake BTC, Hashpower, and Ego All at Once

Validators rack up hybrid scores by combining delegated Bitcoin hashpower, time-locked BTC, and staked CORE tokens. Why choose between proof-of-work bragging rights and proof-of-stake yield when you can juggle both and risk slashing on two fronts. Every epoch crowns 31 operators, handing them 90% of emissions while jail time awaits the slackers. CoreDAO.

🪙 IO Wants Bitcoin to Run Cardano-Style Contracts Without Breaking a Sweat

Maxis might clutch their ASICs, but a RISC-V pipeline is sneaking Python contracts onto Bitcoin. BitVMX compiles Cardano’s UPLC through a CEK machine into RISC-V, letting optimistic fraud proofs keep BTC untouched unless someone cheats. Demoed at Bitcoin 2025, the stack teases native BTC DeFi and cross-chain bridges without opcode surgery - unlike the text in this summary which sounds like opcode surgery. Cardano.

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