OVERVIEW

Entering The Weekend With A ‘W’ 🏆️

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰

📺 New Black Mirror Episode Is Basically Pump.fun

Netflix's latest "Black Mirror" episode, "Common People," tells the twisted tale of a desperate man harming himself on livestreams for digital cash - eerily echoing real-life antics seen among Pump.fun meme coin creators. And because dystopian reality is now reality, crypto traders took the grim parallel as wildly bullish, launching "Black Mirror"-themed tokens. Pump.fun, meanwhile, insists its newly relaunched livestreaming platform has safeguards to prevent such disturbing stunts—this time, totally for real. Decrypt. Decrypt.

🕶️ Vitalik Drops Ethereum Privacy Roadmap

Vitalik Buterin released an ambitious plan to boost Ethereum's privacy with features like shielded transactions, infrastructure upgrades, and decentralized app restrictions. If you're worried about the NSA snooping your NFT trades, help is apparently on the way. Cointelegraph.

🦕 Tim Draper Bets Big on Weird Tech

Tim Draper doubled down on "world-changing" investments like artificial wombs, hypersonic spaceplanes, and Bitcoin as the US-China trade war spirals into madness. Draper's strategy: ignore global economic chaos and buy things that sound like rejected Star Trek scripts. The Street.

💀 Solana Active Addresses Hit 2025 Low

Solana active addresses plummeted to their lowest level this year, confirming that traders fled faster than crypto bros from a stable relationship. Despite a brief price bounce, the token is down 55% from January highs. Long positions still dominate, proving denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Finbold.

👾 CryptoPunk Sells for $10M Lossh

CryptoPunk #3100 just sold for $6 million in $ETH.X ( ▲ 1.65% ), marking a jaw-dropping loss of nearly $10 million since its last sale in 2024. Turns out buying JPEGs at peak hype isn’t always a genius financial move. Meanwhile, CryptoPunks’ floor price has crashed 84% since 2021 highs, proving NFTs age about as well as milk left on a cars dashboard in July. ecoinimist.

🐳 BlackRock ETFs Hoover Up $107B

BlackRock ETFs crushed Q1 with $107 billion in net inflows, including a surprising $3 billion into crypto-focused funds. Investors decided if they're going to lose money in crypto anyway, they might as well do it with a reputable brand name attached. Crypto-Economy.

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Block Fuel Live: Xion Founder Anthony Anzalone 🤩 

Anthony "Burnt Banksy" Anzalone shares how he built Xion into a $36M-backed blockchain platform by stripping away crypto complexity, using bold leadership, and forging real-world partnerships like Uber.

• From burning art to building a $36M blockchain platform. 🔥

• Xion partners with Uber to pay top Lyft users to switch. 🤝

• Shock-tactic leadership drives Xion’s bold culture. 🚀

• Crypto made invisible—Xion is the Twilio of blockchain. 🛠️

• 70–100K daily users and 200+ projects scaling fast. 📈

ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Confirmed: This Market Sucks 🧠 

Glassnode’s latest deep dive is a feast for the detail-obsessed. Their charts, metrics, and analysis might just become your new bedtime reading. If you’re short on time, here’s the condensed version - but it’s definitely worth a read. 📖 

ETH vs. BTC 

This part of GlassNode’s analysis should sound familiar: it’s the same drum I’ve been beating in the Litepaper (see the April 4 Litepaper) Bitcoin holders have had a better run, at least by comparison.

Ethereum’s MVRV Ratio tanked below 1.0 in March, and the ETH/BTC ratio dropped off a cliff. Both are ugly metrics if you’re an ETH bull. This spread highlights who’s holding unrealized profits—or, in the case of ETH holders, who’s feeling the heat. 🌡️ 

Losses Left and Right 

Realized loss metrics for both BTC and ETH spiked when the market took its swan dive.

But each leg lower saw fewer folks rushing for the exit. Maybe the sellers are exhausted? Maybe the market’s so battered that there’s no one left to dump? Either way, it’s hardly a bullish sign when “less panicky selling” qualifies as hope.

Similarly, this lack of buying at these massive discounts was visited in the April 1 Litepaper. 📆 

The Altcoin Graveyard

It’s not just Bitcoin and Ethereum feeling the pinch. The broader altcoin market shrank from $1T to $583B in about four months. That’s a -40% move, for anyone who’s counting.

Basically, everything with a ticker went red. No sector was spared. “Diversification” meant losing money in multiple coins at once. 😱 

ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Burnt Bag Briefing 🔥 

Want to know whether the bulls or bears are feeling the most pain today? Well, this is the place to look. 👀

In the past 24 hours, 87,890 traders were liquidated, with total liquidations reaching nearly $218.78 million.

The largest single liquidation occurred on Binance, a BTCUSD pair valued at $3.01 million.

Longs lost $65.47 million, while shorts were hit for $153.31 million. 🤕

EMAIL ME
Tell Me What You Want 🔊 

Quick note here: Let me know what you’d like to see more of in the Litepaper.

More charts? More on-chain analytics? More data? Let me know! 🎇 

E-mail me here: [email protected]

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️ 

🔗 Band Protocol Lights Up XRPL EVM

$BAND.X ( ▲ 0.72% ) isbringing decentralized price feeds to the XRPL’s testnet because we need oracles on every chain that tacks on “EVM.” Now devs can rope in real-world data for serious DeFi on the $XRP.X ( ▲ 1.15% ) Ledger without fleeing to Ethereum. Big players say enterprise adoption is the next big leap. Band Protocol.

🤖 Mindshare Index AI: No Sleep, All Trades

Some unstoppable AI agent is scanning the net for crypto hype, then auto-trading on $NEAR.X ( ▲ 2.14% ) using “Shade Agents” - because what’s more fun than letting a robot run your portfolio? It feeds on social chatter, pounces on tokens, and never once asks for a break. It’s already showing how DeFi might eventually ditch human traders entirely. NEAR Protocol.

💵 El Dorado Hits 1 Million Downloads On Arbitrum

Latin America loves $USDT.X ( ▼ 0.03% ) on a cheap layer-2. They’ve tallied 4 million USDT transactions, so it’s not exactly niche. Maybe the cynics mocking stablecoins might want to check those user stats before complaining about “lack of real-world adoption.” Arbitrum.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Real World Asset Tokenization (RWA) News 🪙 

🔥 WEMADE’s KRW 120M Donation For Wildfire Relief

$WEMIX.X ( ▲ 1.7% ) used their Wepublic platform and teamed up with relief groups to launch an emergency campaign and pledged matching contributions for user comments. All the donation trails are trackable on-chain - if you can’t trust a good deed that’s verifiable on a public ledger, what can you trust? WeMix.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️

🚀 $GALA’s Dual-Chain Bridge: GalaChain Meets Solana

$GALA.X ( ▲ 1.92% ) unlocked an interoperability door that merges their entertainment-centric GalaChain with the speedy $SOL.X ( ▲ 1.34% ) ecosystem. Now GALA can bounce between these two chains, letting devs and users chase DeFi, gaming, or NFT opportunities from whichever side they fancy. It’s the perfect blend of “build your epic game over here” and “flip tokens for fun over there.” GalaGames.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending Protocol News 🏦

🪙 Institutional Finance Goes Full Crypto

Copper’s hooking up with $ONDO.X ( ▲ 4.28% ) to babysit tokenized US Treasuries. Now big shots can brag about “onchain” safety, while enjoying the joys of MPC custody. Critics will call it an overhyped stablecoin copycat, but at least it’s one that pays a respectable yield. Ondo Finance.

⚙️ DOT: Polkadot’s Fuel Or Just Another Token?

They say DOT powers governance, staking, and random rolls of duct tape, but let’s be honest: it’s how you pay for chain stuff without bricking the network. Polkadot swears it’s “evolving utility” proves they’re not just copying ETH or SOL. Polkadot.

🔗 ENS: The DNS Of Crypto (Minus The Messy Numbers)

Long addresses and monstrous hex strings are so 2017. $ENS.X ( ▲ 1.12% ) turns them into friendly names like yourname.eth, making it easier for the rest of us who prefer words to 42-character puzzles. Just like DNS tamed the early internet by giving websites normal URLs, ENS is giving Ethereum the same usability boost - and it’s all under your full control, with none of that Web2 company lock-in. Ethereum Naming Service.

LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗

🇸🇪 Sweden: proposal to include Bitcoin in national reserves

🤯 OTC crypto and stablecoin volumes doubled YoY in Trump's first 100 days: report

🧢 Base Maintains Strong Lead Among Ethereum Layer 2s

👨‍✈️ OKX & Standard Chartered Launch Crypto Collateral Pilot

📈 AMD’s Stock Rises After Google Cloud Partnership Announcement

🏥 Cedars-Sinai CAIO: AI is transforming relationship between caregivers and IT

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, IMX, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, ZEC, XLM, and NEAR. 📋