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- FDIC Caught Playing “Shred and Seek” With Crypto Docs 😠
FDIC Caught Playing “Shred and Seek” With Crypto Docs 😠
Somebody's been naughty and momma aint' happy
OVERVIEW
FDIC Caught Playing “Shred and Seek” With Crypto Docs 😠
Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:
And here’s a look at crypto’s total market cap chart:
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰
⚠️ Coinbase’s “Bitcoin Loans”: Not Exactly What You Think
Coinbase launched “Bitcoin-backed loans” that aren’t actually backed by real Bitcoin—just a wrapped token (cbBTC) on their Base chain, using a Morpho Labs platform nowhere near the Bitcoin blockchain. They call it “TradFi in the front, DeFi in the back,” but it’s really centralized all the way through, forcing you to trust Coinbase to hold your BTC. Real Bitcoiners want a future where you can borrow against your BTC without giving up custody or playing hot potato with yet another IOU token. Bitcoin Magazine.
💰 eToro’s $5B IPO: Third Time’s (Maybe) The Charm
After a scrapped SPAC deal and a near-listing in 2024, eToro’s filing again—this time at a $5B valuation with Goldman, Jefferies, and UBS in tow. They picked Q2 2025 for the potential listing, even though their biggest market is the UK. With SEC leadership turning pro-crypto, eToro might finally see their plan get greenlit—unless another curveball sends it back to the drawing board. Crypto Briefing.
🚀 XRP Snags New All-Time Highs
How long did it take XRP to make a new all-time high? 2,569 days. That’s as many weeks as there are days in a year (well, 2 more, 367 weeks). 84 months. A crazy amount of time, but congratulations XRP hodlers, you deserve to celebrate!
🇺🇸 Rumor Mill: America-First Crypto Reserve
Trump’s incoming administration is rumored to have given a maybe for a strategic reserve packed with U.S.-based digital assets like Solana, USDC, and Ripple, sources say. While some folks cheer the idea as a big win for homegrown projects, Bitcoin loyalists worry this “America-first” plan could overshadow the world’s top crypto. New York Post.
⚡ Polygon’s 35M POL Grants: AI, DePIN, and Memes—Oh My
Polygon’s back with Season 2 of its Community Grants Program, tossing out 35M POL like confetti for AI-based projects, DePIN, and yes, even memecoins. If you hate categories, the Direct Track offers a chunk of 20M POL with basically zero constraints. They say it’s about “long-termism,” but we know it’s about shipping something that actually makes sense. Polygon blog.