OVERVIEW

Newest Crypto Trend Of 2025: Kidnappings 🤦

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰

🏦 Citi Thinks Stablecoins Might Just Swallow the Whole Crypto Market (Wait, Really?)

Citi’s latest crystal ball reading says stablecoins might hit a staggering $1.6 trillion (or even $3.7 trillion, if the stars align) by 2030, making today's crypto market look like pocket change. They’re betting stablecoins will slip seamlessly into mainstream finance, becoming the go-to currency for cross-border payments and corporate transactions. coindoo.

💰 VanEck Drops VBILL, a Tokenized Treasury Fund

VanEck teamed up with Securitize to launch VBILL, a tokenized fund backed entirely by U.S. Treasuries.. It runs 24/7 across Avalanche, Ethereum, Solana, and BNB Chain, thanks to Wormhole magic, making traditional money market funds feel painfully slow. PRNewswire.

📈 Coinbase Joined the S&P 500 Yesterday

Coinbase just got added to the S&P 500, signaling crypto’s shift from “sketchy outsider” to “serious business” territory. Remember when the SEC was chasing Coinbase around? Funny how fast things change. Considering Bitcoin returned to $100k, Coinbase execs are probably too busy swimming in champagne to care about index inclusion details. Yahoo!Finance.

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NEWS
Crypto Kidnappings Are The New Trend in 2025 🥷 

If you thought rug pulls and shady tokenomics were the worst crypto could throw at you, it could be so much worse. 😱 

Like straight-up kidnappings, mutilations, and good ol’ fashioned extortion. Seriously, it’s like a Tarantino film out there.

Also, don’t go to France if you own crypto. That will make sense shortly.

Vegas, Crypto, and a Long Desert Walk

Back in November (but just hitting the headlines now), three teenagers decided holding someone at gunpoint after a Vegas crypto bash would be a solid life choice.

They drove the guy to middle-of-nowhere White Hills, Arizona, swiped around $4 million in crypto and NFTs, then just kinda left him there. Dude had to hoof it five miles to civilization. The teens, two just 16, are now facing adult-level charges.

Sacrebleu! French Crypto Mogul’s Finger MIA

David Balland, one of Ledger’s founders, got movie-level kidnapped in France. Attackers busted into his home, took him and his wife hostage, then, to really dial it up, snipped off Balland’s finger and mailed it to his business partner.

They asked for about $17.5 million in USDT, but luckily the cops stepped in after two days, froze the ransom, and grabbed nine suspects.

Paris Airbnb Turned Horror Movie Set

Not even a week into May, and France had another kidnapping.

This time, some masked dudes grabbed a 60-year-old crypto marketing exec, sliced off his finger (sense a pattern?), filmed it, and texted it to his son, asking for up to €7 million.

He spent two nerve-wracking days holed up in some Airbnb south of Paris before the cops crashed the party. All five suspects were arrested.

Dubai Influencer’s Dad Taken Hostage

Oh look, another kidnapping in France.

The dad of a Dubai influencer was kidnapped last December in eastern France. The abductors left his wife and daughter tied up, shoved the old man into a car trunk, and demanded millions in crypto.

Thankfully, French police found him alive, still tied up. Can’t make this stuff up.

UK Trader’s Wild Balcony Escape in Spain

Then there was this British crypto trader in Spain, kidnapped by three guys demanding a measly €30,000 in crypto. Threatened with torture, dude actually jumped off a 30-foot balcony, broke both ankles, and survived to tell the tale.

Points for bravery.

Chicago Family and Nanny Abduction

A son, the nanny, and two other family members were kidnapped in Chicago and forced to transfer around $15 million in crypto. It lasted for five days, multiple transfers from vehicles, an AirBnB (also a pattern) but they got to eat McDonald’s, Culvers, Subway, and PF Changs.

The son said that besides being pistol whipped, they were treated ok. Except, for, you know, the terror and life threatening parts I guess.

Six men were charged and $9 million is still unaccounted for.

Belgian Influencer’s Wife Rescue

Crypto investor Stéphane Winkel’s wife was kidnapped in Belgium, but the ordeal ended dramatically when the kidnapper crashed the getaway car during a police chase.

Houston Twitch Streamer Robbed

Four teenagers pistol-whipped popular Twitch streamer Amouranth at her Houston home, demanding access to crypto holdings she'd foolishly bragged about online.

PSA: Maybe don’t broadcast your crypto wallet on Twitch?

$243 Million Bitcoin Heist Turns Real-Life Thriller

Things got real weird stateside when a massive Bitcoin heist ($243 million - ‘tis but a trifle) led to a kidnapping in Connecticut.

The victim's son was involved somehow, turning the whole ordeal into a family drama Netflix would, um, kill for. By March, five out of six kidnappers had pled guilty. FBI had crypto analytics on speed dial for this one.

So What Did We Learn?

1. Don’t tell people you have crypto.

2. Don’t go to France.

Stay safe out there, folks. 🛟 

TECHNICAL ANALYSIS
BTC’s Dominance Is Tanking, And That’s Ok 👍️ 

The Bitcoin Dominance Chart (shows Bitcoin’s share of the total crypto market cap; e.g., 61% means Bitcoin is 61% of the market’s value) is tanking. ⤵️ 

Here’s what’s currently happening on the BTC Dominance chart:

• Last week's drop from 64.77% to 63.15% marked the steepest weekly decline since early December 2024.

• May 2025 has retraced all gains from April 2025, and if nothing changes, it'll be the first red monthly close for BTC Dominance in five months.

Is this bad for crypto? No. Bad for Bitcoin? Not really.

So what does it mean?

When Bitcoin’s dominance drops, it means altcoins are leading the crypto market.

Altcoins start to pop, Bitcoin's price is flat or just barely in the green - it signals a rotation of capital into the broader crypto market.

TL;DR version is this: the Alt Season cometh. 🚀 

CRYPTOTWITS
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NFTS
Billion-Dollar Pixel Doodles Now Have Official Babysitters 🖼️ 

CryptoPunks just got scooped up by NODE (no $$$ number is disclosed), a nonprofit committed to the preservation, study and exhibition of digital art. 🎨 

Larva Labs kicked this thing off in 2017, flipping the art world the bird with pixelated punks that hauled in over $3 billion, making creators Matt Hall and John Watkinson stupidly rich and absurdly influential.

They’ve even roped in the original duo from Larva Labs, plus some big brains from Art Blocks and Yuga Labs, to keep things from spiraling into corporate mediocrity. Natalie Stone’s (former GM at Yuga Labs) on board too, probably to keep everyone in check.

Here's the kicker: despite pulling $377 million just this year, traditional art snobs still won’t touch CryptoPunks with a ten-foot pole. NODE’s big "screw-you" to that is a full 10K-Punk exhibition launching at their shiny new spot in Palo Alto.

Full press release can be found here. ⬅️ 

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending Protocol News 🏦

🥞 PancakeSwap Infinity Rolls Out 'Hooks' - DeFi Gets Fancy-ish

PancakeSwap just dropped something they're calling "Hooks," which are basically mini add-ons (you know, like, mods in gaming). These little upgrades let you tweak stuff like trading fees depending on market craziness, or loyalty discounts - kinda like those punch cards you lose after your third coffee. PancakeSwap.

🎓 Curve and Cyfrin Are Handing Out Free Developer Certifications

Curve teamed up with Cyfrin Updraft to offer free certifications to devs looking to flex their smart-contract skills - basically, a nice little resume booster for blockchain nerds. They're launching with Solidity (obviously), but promise Vyper next. I mean, it’s great that devs get a free chance to level-up, but let's be real - most hiring managers are probably still figuring out what exactly Solidity even does. Curve Finance.

🔥 Flare DeFi Hits Record Highs Thanks to USD₮0 and Kraken

Flare protocols like SparkDEX and Kinetic hit all-time highs after they launched USD₮0 (basically a fancy omnichain USDT) and got listed on Kraken. Now users can seamlessly swap USDT onto Flare without those nightmarish bridging headaches. Flare Network.

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, IMX, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, ZEC, XLM, and NEAR. 📋