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OVERVIEW

Santa’s Naughty List: First Crypto Tax Evader Lands Behind Bars 🎅 

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

And here’s a look at crypto’s total and altcoin market cap YTD:

New In Three Sentences
Crypto News 📰

💰 Americans Eye 2025: 73% to Reinvest in Crypto

A new survey says nearly three-quarters of U.S. crypto holders plan to reinvest by 2025, showing they’re not rattled by market hiccups. Optimism’s alive and kicking, as holders double down on digital assets. If the doubters are expecting a mass exodus, they’ll be left tapping their toes. CryptoNews.

⚡ Bitcoin Energy FUD: Check Your Sources

Rumor has it much of the Bitcoin “energy hog” narrative traces back to Digiconomist—a source some say is outdated and biased. Critics argue its data spawns lazy headlines and entrenched misconceptions. Before you join the eco-outrage chorus, maybe tune your pitch to credible stats. DS Batten’s X.

🗣️ Roger Ver: Uncle Sam Tried to Muzzle Bitcoin

Embattled Roger Ver claims the U.S. tried to kneecap Bitcoin in 2011 with a wave of censorship and hush-ups. If true, it’s a throwback to when governments feared this digital upstart more than ever. Conspiracy or not, it’s a reminder that Bitcoin’s early days were anything but dull. Tucker Carlson’s X.

🏦 BlackRock’s Big Bitcoin Bet: A New Allocation Order?

If BlackRock’s ready to carve out a piece of its portfolio pie for Bitcoin, it’s a neon sign for traditional finance. No longer fringe, BTC is shifting from renegade asset to respectable guest at the investment table. The message is clear: Wall Street’s gatekeepers are rolling out the welcome mat. Bankless.

NEWS
A Beginner’s Guide to Turning Your Crypto Gains into a Federal Prison Vacation 🚔️ 

The first guy to land himself in prison for crypto tax evasion picked a brilliant way to leave a paper trail. Call it a self-inflicted wound, call it sheer hubris, call it what you want—this genius thought he could outsmart the IRS. 🤦 

Turns out, he was about as stealthy as a parade marching through a quiet suburb.

Some highlights from this masterpiece of self-sabotage:

• Bought over a thousand BTC years ago, then somehow “forgot” to tell the government about millions in profits.

• Sold 640 bitcoins in 2017 for about $3.7 million and tried to trick his accountant by claiming he paid way more for them than he actually did. 

• Inflated the cost basis to such comical levels that it shot straight past the highest market prices of the time.

• Cashed out another $650,000 in later years and decided it was a brilliant idea not to report a single penny of that.

• Used mixers and multiple wallets like some discount spy movie villain, as if these tricks would suddenly make the IRS forget how to add and subtract.

• Even bragged online about these shady tactics. Yes, really. Public blog posts. Brilliant.

Eventually, the feds cracked down. Two years behind bars and over a million bucks in restitution. If you’re looking for a role model in how to dig yourself into a regulatory hole, look no further than this guy. 🙄 

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NEWS
No More Rorschach Tests: FDIC Told to Quit Playing Hide-and-Seek 🫥

The FDIC’s idea of “transparency” apparently involves enough black ink to rival what happens when a caligrapher’s cat swats an ink well over. 🔎 

Its so-called “pause letters” to banks—drafted back in 2022 to keep crypto stuff out of their branches—arrived on the public stage wearing more cover-up than a cheap crime novel. Now a U.S. federal judge isn’t buying the “nothing to see here” routine.

Judge Reyes to FDIC: Redact Less, Explain More

Judge Ana C. Reyes ordered the FDIC to tone down the blackout binge and cough up letters that don’t look like modern art. Coinbase’s Chief Legal Officer, Paul Grewal, called the FDIC out for working a little too hard to hide whatever really went down.

No shocker if this all ties right back to “Operation Chokepoint 2.0,” that not-so-mythical plan to slam crypto’s head in the banking industry’s door. 🚪 

Direct Hits From the Judge

• “The Court is concerned with what appears to be FDIC’s lack of good-faith effort…”

• “Defendant cannot simply blanket redact everything that is not an article or preposition.” 😆 

• “The Court ORDERS Defendant…[to] be prepared to defend each new redaction.”

Shifting Gears in D.C.

FDIC Chair Martin Gruenberg might have one foot out the door. If his successor comes in hot with a more open mind, we might see fewer heavy-duty redactions and more clarity.

The original anti-crypto environment that let these letters slip by mostly unnoticed is fading. This time, the FDIC won’t have the luxury of sweeping everything under a matte-black rug. 🧹 

News In Three Sentences
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️

🐕 MetaDogeUnity x SKALE: Kill-to-Earn Without the Cost

MetaDogeUnity has hopped onto SKALE, axing gas fees so players can focus on slaying monsters, not their wallet balances. By removing transaction tolls, this kill-to-earn RPG ensures every sword swing and clan strategy goes straight to fueling your fun. With seamless battles and stable performance, it’s a big win for gamers craving action over accounting. SKALE blog.

🎟️ More Ways to Win: Gala’s Weekly Sweepstakes Upgrade

Gala Games is leveling up its weekly GALA sweepstakes by adding fresh entry paths beyond just basic buys. Staking tokens, playing certain games, and completing tasks in the Gala ecosystem now earn you chances at big rewards. The goal? Turn passive fans into active participants, deepen community ties, and spread the fun (and prizes) around. Gala Games blog.

🤖 BADMAD Robots on Immutable: Grab Your Gems and Go

Follow BADMAD Robots on Immutable, score instant gems, and ride that Web3 dopamine hit. Forget complicated quests—just one follow, and you’re pocketing loot like a bandit. It’s the simplest way to stay plugged into the next wave of gaming and collectibles without lifting a digital finger. Immutable blog.

News In Three Sentences
DeFi, DEX, and Lending Protocol News 🏦

🍣 Sushi’s Token Details View: Your One-Stop Data Buffet

Sushi has dished up a Token Details View that puts historical price data, liquidity stats, and supply figures at your fingertips—all in one place. Traders no longer have to juggle multiple tools or guess where to find their next hint of alpha. It’s a streamlined smorgasbord of insights, helping you make smarter, faster moves in DeFi’s hectic kitchen. Sushi blog.

📊 Curve’s Weekly Data Drop: Follow the Flow of Yields

Curve’s weekly update lays out APYs, volumes, and liquidity health across its stablecoin pools, helping you stay on top of shifting yields. Missed a new pool or curious about where the action moved? With these snapshots, you can pivot strategies and ride the current of fresh opportunities, all without squinting in the dark. Curve Finance blog.

⚡ 1inch on Optimism: Faster Trades, Lower Costs, No Excuses

1inch just rolled out on Optimism, meaning DeFi degens can now swap, aggregate, and limit-order their way to glory at lightning speed and cheaper gas rates. It’s a no-brainer: say goodbye to ETH-guzzling fees and hello to frictionless trading. If you’re not optimizing your trades, you’re sleeping on the future. 1Inch blog.

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ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Burnt Bag Briefing 🔥 

Want to know whether the bulls or bears are feeling the most pain today? Well, this is the place to look. 👀

In the past 24 hours, 86,412 traders were liquidated, with total liquidations reaching $205.78 million.

The largest single liquidation occurred on Binance, a BTCUSDT pair valued at $2.04 million.

Longs lost $127.75 million, while shorts were hit for $78.16 million. 🤕 

LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗

🤯 Crypto trading volume surged to $10 trillion for the first time in November

🪙 Trump-backed World Liberty Financial acquires $12M in ETH, LINK, AAVE

🕵️ Hacker exploits Dogecoin (DOGE) flaw, causing 69% of nodes to crash

🧠 Texas House proposes bill to establish Strategic Bitcoin Reserve

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, WMT,LTC, LINK, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, DOGE, ZEC, AVAX, XLM, XTZ, and NEAR. 📋