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OVERVIEW

The Chiefs And Crypto Ads Noticeably Absent From The Superbowl 🏈 

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰

🏈 Super Bowl: No Crypto Ads This Year

The Chiefs weren’t the only thing missing during yesterday’s Superbowl. Remember the 2022 “Crypto Bowl,” featuring flashy exchange ads? Yeah, that fizzled out after 2023’s market meltdown. This time, AI took center stage, leaving the cryptosphere to nurse its wounds quietly on the sidelines. U.Today.

⚖️ Beijing Official Bags 11 Years For Bitcoin Laundering

Tens of millions in bribes can’t buy you a way out of prison or the CCP’s watchful gaze. Hao Gang, ex-Beijing Financial Bureau deputy director, got slammed for helping a mining firm launder BTC in exchange for freebies. DailyHODL.

🗑️ Landfill With $768M in BTC to Be Shut

James Howells’ infamous dump site in Wales is closing, effectively burying that 8,000-Bitcoin hard drive for good. He tried everything from lawsuits to AI super-sleuthing, but the city said “no dice.” Now he wants to try buying it. Cointelegraph.

🏃 Kidnapped Crypto Trader Jumps 30-Foot Balcony

A gang demanded €30k in crypto or threatened torture, so the victim leapt off the balcony, breaking both ankles. Armed police swooped in, found guns, cocaine, and stolen cash stuffed everywhere. Apparently, if you plan to “get a drink” in Spain, pick your buddies carefully. Protos.

👀 Kraken Lists “JAILSTOOL,” Because Why Not

Dave Portnoy’s brand-new meme baby soared to $267 million market cap—until it cratered. Portnoy’s questioning whether it’s too stupid to fail, but the crypto bros ate it up. “Stool Prisondente” is the latest example of memecoin mania overshadowing all sense of caution—again. Kraken.

🇨🇫 Central African Republic’s Memecoin: Real or Rug?

The president’s official X account dropped a new memecoin with talk of “uniting people,” but critics smell a scam. Website domain’s already suspended, and the official token wallet apparently lumps 80% supply in one chunk. If you needed a better reason to triple-check new launches, here it is. The Block.

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